What a beginning of a blog!!!

The bitterness of the day? Well more like week.
My son is 3, soon to be 4 years old. He has never been in daycare, as I quit my career to be a stay at home mom when he was born. It was a very hard decision for me, as I loved my work. My family had to come first, and it does. Even with a 2 year old and an almost 4 year old and no husband around...at least most of the time! ;)

Our son, S., began pre-school at a local church the middle of august. He had never been in school or even a real daycare before. We explained before he started that we had to go to another state to see Daddy off to Iraq and he would miss almost 2 weeks of school. That was fine. We also explained that he might have some issues due to losing his Daddy yet AGAIN in such a short period of time. So he went the first week, with no problems. Nothing. We are the kind of parents that want to know how his day was. We want the teachers to talk to us and always attempt to open up "how was S.'s day? Anything happen?" Nothing.

Fast forward, and we had been in a hotel for close to 2 weeks and my husband was gone. We drove 17 hours straight through just to get back home. I couldn't stay there without him...and neither could the kids. They wanted their Daddy. We spent the first day home relaxing, catching up on sleep, dealing with our sadness and how much we miss Daddy.

The second day back, I take S. back to school. He is doing better than I imagined he would. I thought the routine of going back into school would help him. He has no serious behavior problems and when he walked in, his class said "Hi S.!! We missed you!!!" He had a nice day, and as we were walking out, the director says she wants to set up a meeting with me to determine if this is the right "grade" for my son. IT'S PRE-SCHOOL! It didn't sound good and I stewed on it for awhile...

I called her when we got home, as it continued to weigh on my mind. She tells me that she decided to "observe" my son because she and the teachers didn't think he was "on-task" enough. HE IS 3!!! IT IS PRE-SCHOOL! So she supposedly sat and watched while they were doing activities in class, his first day back, and only his 5th day of school in 3 weeks (Well, ever, really). She said he was only on task half the time, but she really couldn't tell if he was paying attention when he wasn't looking directly at the teacher...etc. THEN she tells me that I need to have him TESTED because she saw him walk on his tiptoes. Umm...he's 3 and when he is happy and playing he bounces on his toes. So she tried to tell me that he needs to be tested because that's a sign of "some sensory disorder".

That's when I had the nearly hysterical "let me give this woman a quick realization" moment. Who can guess what my job was before she was a Mommy??? 20 points to the person who says "Mental Health Therapist". Yes, that's correct. Mrs. Bitter has quite a few credentials too. This should be fun.

So I told her under no uncertain terms that I am most definately not in denial of my childs development stage or his academic (IT IS PRE-SCHOOL!! PLEASE!!) prowess. He's intelligent, can count in English and Spanish, he loves to play, can be hyper (duh..), sings complete songs, does the alphabet, and he's sometimes stubborn LIKE A NORMAL 3 YEAR OLD.

It sounds to me as though these teachers are not wanting to teach children who have not been in daycare their whole lives. Nothing she described to me was any type of serious "marker" for trouble in school where he would be taking away from anyone else. He has the willingness to learn, and he wants to be there. I'm so angry. She said "Oh, well everything you have said kind of puts things in a different light" DUH STUPID!!! He's never been in school and doesn't know how it all works.

SO we are supposed to meet with her this week when we get over our flu to discuss her "findings". Which are baseless, considering what she did was so far out of the realm of good judgement it's ridiculous.

I just feel like she slapped a label on him and put him in this little box, and nobody in that "school" is going to see anything else. It was a VERY poor and premature judgement, especially considering he is not a behavior problem and he doesn't have outbursts in school. Not to mention the factors I laid out above.

Whether or not he stays in that school...I don't know. I don't know that I can trust them to make good judgements based on my child..or anyone elses. Especially when the director acted in a very poor manner relating to the timing of her "test" on S.

I'll let you know.


OK...Update, and I should have updated on this before now. Spoke with the director and she said she did not realize that he had never been in school before and appreciates that I let her know so they could work with him on the areas he doesn't understand. Needless to say I felt much better about the school and her concern for my child after we spoke. So school is still a good thing and S. is still in his same class. :) As for the tiptoe thing...she admitted that was a bit off base. LOL I feel as if me and Mrs. N. have a better relationship because of this. Especially since I didn't create a big bitchy scene with her. I listened to her point of view, and responded with my point of view, and it was a good exchange. Always fight for your child. Always. Sometimes it's going to be harder than others, but it's always worth it.